The picture above is a late sunset last night in downtown Cleveland, Ohio. It is a picture of the Terminal Tower. They light the entire tower up with different colors when there is a holiday or sporting event going on. I love my city and the suburb I live in.
The past few day’s have still been pretty rough when it comes to my depression. I’m really trying to force myself to do things, anything. Friday, I read an entire book in bed. I was in bed the majority of the day but I wasn’t sleeping which was a plus. Saturday, my sister asked me to go baby shopping with her. She has been having some issues with her pregnancy so I felt like I needed to be there for her. She is really stressing out because of it. We found so many cute outfits and items for the nursery. However, it was extremely hard for me considering I am infertile and can’t have any children. I held it together until I got home then I broke down in tears as soon as I opened my door. I was dry heaving I was crying so hard. I pulled myself together and laid down for a nap and then went to bed for the night at 7:00PM EST. Sunday, I went grocery shopping and did a couple loads of laundry. I take all of this as a win considering the manic depression I have been in.
Yesterday, I meal prepped for the week. That took the most effort but I did it and I’m proud of myself. Eating healthy is part of good mental health. For breakfast I either have a hard boiled egg and berries, yogurt and berries or cottage cheese and berries. For lunches I made mini turkey meatloafs (you bake them in a muffin pan) that are from a healthy eating website. They are very high in protein and low in sugar and carbohydrates. I have salads to go along with these. Tonight, I am making salmon, brussel sprouts and a salad for dinner with fresh fruit for dessert. The rest of the week for dinner it’s chicken, chicken and more chicken with broccoli and salads. I am trying really hard to keep to a healthy diet and not “cheat.” However, it is very hard when I’m depressed and want to binge eat. Ice cream is my weak spot and it’s been SO hard to stay away from it. I guess a little bit at a time won’t hurt but I have a problem with portion control.
Overall, I think I’m doing a little better than last week. Hopefully, this is a sign that my mood is starting to change. All I can do is make small goals for myself and go from there.
What do you do to try and get yourself out of a deep depression? Do you have any copping skills you use?
To my new followers, welcome to Smiling Through Tears. This blog is a daily account of my struggle with mental health disorders. To all of my returning followers, thank you for supporting me and following my journey.