I always thought I would have this perfect picture life. I didn’t expect to be bullied in middle school, but I was. I thought when I was younger I would be in the “popular” group of kids in school and that I would I fit in. It was just the opposite. I was the awkward kid that had friends but never really fit in anywhere. I thought I would go to college and graduate and make my parent’s proud. I went to college but almost failed out because I didn’t go to class due to my social anxiety. My parent’s pulled me out and I was a disappointment to them. I got a job and then I was fired due to not showing up because I couldn’t get out of bed. I got another job and was fired again. This was a repeat offense of mine. When I moved out of my parent’s house to my first apartment by myself, I barely left it. I was back home at my parent’s a year later. I thought I was going to marry my high school sweetheart, that didn’t happen. I thought I was going to get married (to Andrew) and have an amazing marriage, but it’s not amazing or perfect. I didn’t expect to have health issues all of the time, but I do. I didn’t expect to suffer from mental health disorders, but I do.
My point to all that is that life isn’t perfect and it doesn’t always turn out the way we thought it would. I’m learning this after YEARS of being constantly disappointed and feeling sorry for myself. I had to let go of everything in the past and I have to put my focus on now and the future. No matter how bad things get at times, I have to embrace it.
I challenge all of you do try and do the same. Live in the now and focus on the future and what you can do to improve your life. I know I am!
To my new followers, welcome to Smiling Through Tears. This blog is a daily account of my struggle with mental health disorders. To all of my returning followers, thank you for supporting me and following my journey.