I hope everyone is having a nice Sunday! Mine has been pretty uneventful which is nice. I got a really good work out in so my anxiety seems to be under control for now. There are some things that I haven’t blogged about yet that I would like to.

My husband, Andrew, lost his job in October 2018. Andrew was working at an advertising agency as a digital project manager. He is extremely bright and is a hard worker and we were shocked when the company did a large firing of employees. He has been looking for a job since he was let go. Andrew has had several interviews but nothing has stuck yet. This coming week he has 3 in person interviews with really good companies. Keep your fingers crossed!

We have been living off of Andrew’s unemployment and my social security from my permanent disability. As many of you know, unemployment is hard to live off of. As much as I have bad mouthed my parents in the past because they don’t understand my depression, anxiety and bipolar II disorder — they have been here for us during this really hard time. From the time Andrew was let go, they said they would not let us drown. They have helped with bills that include our car payments, gas, house bills, groceries, my doctor’s copays and have made us meals.

It has been extremely hard for us to accept money from my parents, but I know we need to to get by. We are both very appreciative of their generosity because they did not need to offer to help us. Our plan is to pay them back even though they don’t want us to. Andrew and I both feel extremely guilty. I also think it is hard for him because he has stated that he is a man and needs to be the one to support us, not my parents.

Andrew and my relationship has not been good for awhile (even before this) but I do understand what anxiety and depression can do to a person and he’s been very down and angry. I’m learning to take a few deep breaths and let it go. Based off of the coping techniques that I have learned through therapy, I have been trying to get him to try these however, he refuses but that’s okay. I can deal with this for now.

Our situation definitely had not made my mood any better. I have to take it day by day and again I’m okay with that. Please keep your fingers crossed that one of these companies hires Andrew soon.

I appreciate my parent’s help and everything else they have done for us. I love them more than anything.

To my new followers, welcome to Smiling Through Tears. This blog is a daily account of my struggle with mental health disorders. To all of my returning followers, thank you for supporting me and following my journey.

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