Oh where to begin… This is going to be a hard one for me to write without crying.
Having a family has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. Like most little girls, I always had a baby that I carried around and slept with. I started babysitting at the age of 13, was a camp counselor, watched kids while their parents were out-of-town and I nannied for several families. I have always loved babies and kids. For years my husband and I tried to conceive but I couldn’t get pregnant so we went to see a fertility specialist. After many tests, I found out that I have a unicornuate uterus. I had NO idea what was and my head was spinning with all of this news.
According to the Texas Children’s Hospital, a “Unicornuate uterus is a rare genetic condition in which only one half of a girl’s uterus forms. A unicornuate uterus is smaller than a typical uterus and has only one fallopian tube. This results in a shape often referred to as “a uterus with one horn” or a “single-horned uterus.” Women with a unicornuate uterus may also have a second smaller piece of a uterus, called a hemi-uterus. This hemi-uterus may not be connected to the rest of the uterus. As a result, menstrual blood is unable to flow out of this hemi-uterus, causing pain.
Causes & Risk Factors
A unicornuate uterus occurs when the uterus doesn’t form properly during fetal development. Normally, two tubes join together to create the uterus. When one of these tubes fails to develop, the result is a unicornuate uterus. The cause of this abnormal fetal development is not yet known.
Symptoms & Types
- Abdominal pain if other uterine remnants are found
- Difficulty getting pregnant
- Complications during pregnancy and/or delivery, including preterm labor, miscarriage and breech delivery (feet first)
Diagnosis & Tests
The condition may go undetected until a young woman has difficulty getting pregnant or experiences complications during pregnancy. Diagnosis starts with a thorough medical history and physical exam, including a pelvic exam.
Additional testing may include:
- Imaging – such as ultrasound, magnetic resonance imaging (MRI)or laparoscopy to look for uterine abnormalities
- Hysteroscopy – uses a tiny telescope, called a hysteroscope, inserted through the vagina into the uterus to view and treat areas of concern
Treatment & Care
- Laparoscopic surgery to remove a non-connected hemi-uterus that results in abdominal pain due to inability of menstrual blood to flow to the main uterus.
- Specialized care during pregnancy/delivery to reduce the risk of complications, including preterm delivery, miscarriages or breech births (feet first).”
THIS WAS AND STILL IS SO OVERWHELMING!!! I could go through egg retrieval and do in-vitro fertilization (IVF), however, that is extremely expensive and not covered by insurance. The thought of never having my own biological child is devastating. I have been going through therapy for this for about a year. I am starting the mourning process of not being able to have a baby. I am sad, VERY angry, I feel worthless as a woman and I keep asking myself “why me?”
I just found out my younger sister is pregnant and it kills me but I am so excited for her. I will be an Aunt for the first time and will spoil their baby boy rotten!
Who else has gone through infertility problems? How did you “mourn” it? I would love suggestions.
To my new followers, welcome to Smiling Through Tears. This blog is a daily account of my struggle with mental health disorders. To all of my returning followers, thank you for supporting me and following my journey.